‘Tis the season to create good social media habits

Social media influencer, Sarah Clarke, shares her top tips for finding joy as you scroll

There’s never a bad time to create good habits but, when it comes to social media, Christmas is arguably the most important time of all.

‘Comparisonitis’ is rife in the festive period as we put on our best clothes, buy the best gifts and parade our best behaviour, then glance sideways – and stare down at our phones – and perhaps find ourselves wanting.

No matter how twinkling and whimsically decorated our home, we’re prone to thinking ‘Well, their decorations look better’, ‘Their family has the matching pyjama game down’, ‘What job do they do, to be able to afford winter sunshine?’ It’s a time when it’s easy to forget to focus on what’s right in front of us.

My policy on social media is ‘your feed should feed you’, and it’s worth remembering that the control is in your hands.

Seek to follow people, accounts, topics and conversations that build you up, energise, entertain and educate you. And have a good spring (winter) clean if an account doesn’t meet that mark.

Here are five tips for creating good social media habits this Christmas:

Check in on your friends

When life gets busy, friendships are often relegated to I’ll-check-their-socials ranking. Watched their Insta story? Checked their Facebook status? That’s a close cousin to a real life, one-to-one conversation. But our friends might be going through something which we’d have no idea about if we took their posts at face value. We all need to dig deeper: to ask our favourite people how they really are…and not just consume their content.

Take your peers off that pedestal

You don’t need me to tell you that comparison is the thief of joy. And you don’t need me to tell you that Instagram is a highlights reel. The mum whose children always seem well-behaved is likely only documenting the sweet moments [me! I do this!] for the memories, and when her children are scrapping-n-screaming, she’s more likely to be referee than videographer [also me]. The person whose living-room always seems supernaturally tidy will have a frenzied clean before they ever snap away, and were you to drop in unannounced, perhaps that room would resemble yours more closely. As much as we know that people share their best versions of themselves online…sometimes we just need that reminder.

Not every specialist will be special to you

There’s plenty of free advice online. But the cost might just be your self-worth. In any life stage we’re facing, it’s finding the balance of following experts who help us to reframe problems and arm us with new techniques…but who don’t belittle or patronise. We don’t all behave in the same way and experts don’t advise in the same way. Seek out professionals and resource-sharers who make you feel more empowered with where you are and who you are.

Acknowledge your echo chamber

We naturally gravitate to people who feel familiar to us but, from my experience, I’ve never got more from Instagram than since 2020 when I began to confront my own limitations, my prejudices, and follow a much wider diversity of people. One of the incredible things about social media is that it allows us to travel further than our own safe village of acquaintances. Every religion, race, sexuality, class, ability is represented and celebrated online – you only have to look. And then listen, and learn. As coined by Rudine Sims Bishop, ‘windows and mirrors’ are necessary for diversity in children’s books, and social media can provide that for us adults too. Mirrors to see people just like us reflected back, and windows to see the views of others. If you’re following only mirrors, search out undiscovered windows and be dazzled by a new view.

Follow your gut

There’s no definitive right or wrong when it comes to how much you share of your own life. On my account I shared lots about my twins when they were babies because I hugely appreciated the advice and encouragement from others. As my twins have grown, I’ve listened to my still, small inner voice and have wanted to share less and less as their lives have become more their own. They still feature on my account, but I don’t share them in school uniform (for safeguarding) or any embarrassing stories (to honour their digital footprint). I follow my gut. And someone else might want to share more, or nothing at all, and feel peaceful either way. I’d recommend re-evaluating as you go; social media is still relatively new, it’s perfectly fine to change your mind.

If you wish – (and you can always change your mind, my friend!) – follow me on Instagram at @sarahclarkecelebrates