Rebellious Hope

The late Dame Deborah James taught us to live and die well

It takes a special kind of person to take a devastating medical diagnosis and continue to live life to the fullest.

That’s exactly what Dame Deborah James did – even in her final moments when she knew the end was near.

At the age of 35, Deborah was diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer, in December 2016.

She underwent more than a dozen operations and multiple rounds of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Through it all, she kept her one million Instagram followers up to date with her journey, posting vulnerable videos and pictures of her progress.

This year, she had to type out the post nobody wants to write; after five years battling cancer, she was starting end of life care. Sadly, the world lost this inspirational woman on 28 June 2022.

From diagnosis to death, Deborah touched many lives with her charismatic and candid posts about living with cancer.

Living well

Shortly following her diagnosis, Deborah left her job as a deputy head teacher and began writing a blog under the name ‘Bowelbabe’. This became her influential Instagram handle, and later the name of the charity she set up.

The blog went on to become an award-winning column titled ‘Things Cancer Made Me Say’ for The Sun online.

A couple of years later, Deborah launched the BBC podcast, You, Me And The Big C, alongside Lauren Mahon and Rachael Bland, in which the trio discussed the nitty-gritty of living with a cancer diagnosis.

In true Deborah fashion, the podcast didn’t shy away from the reality of cancer, but did so in a way that was engaging and accessible to many. Subject matters ranged from expert advice on different types of cancer, to lifestyle content such as how to date with the disease and celebrate big occasions such as Christmas.

Deborah not only dedicated her life to raising awareness of bowel cancer, but she also inspired people with a terminal illness to make the most of whatever time they had left.

Anyone who followed Deborah’s journey knows that she kept an extremely positive outlook, even when many wouldn’t have done so. She took each turn of the rollercoaster she was on with a smile on her face and a dance in her steps.

She wasn’t afraid to do whatever it took to raise awareness – including dressing up as a poo on public transport – and she paved a way for others with cancer not to be defined by their diagnosis.

She encouraged her followers to have ‘rebellious hope’, a phrase that has now become synonymous with the late dame. The award-winning writer used it many times while undergoing treatment for her cancer, telling The Sun earlier this year: ‘We all need to find the light in that rebellious hope, to keep the flame burning in our darkest hours.’

Dying well

Deborah’s darkest hour came this year when she was no longer able to fight the cancer off any more. She stopped all active treatment and moved to hospice at home care.

Keeping it real like she always did , Deborah was open in her final media messages about being scared to die. She said in her final column for The Sun: ‘I am not brave – I am not dignified going towards my death – I am simply a scared girl who is doing something she has no choice in but I know I am grateful for the life that I have had.’

Despite her fears, Deborah continued on her mission to ‘break the poo taboo’ and encourage people to get any strange bowel signs and symptoms checked out.

In the same post in which she announced her end of life treatment, she launched the Bowelbabe Fund for Cancer Research UK. In just 24 hours, the fund had raised £1m, with this number now surpassing £7 million.

During her final weeks, Deborah launched her own clothing line with In The Style, campaigned to get bowel cancer symptoms put on toilet roll packaging and enjoyed afternoon tea with Prince William, who personally delivered her damehood.

She also announced the launch of a new book How To Live When You Could Be Dead, and spent time making memory boxes for her children.

Just like her life, her final weeks were busy, fun and full of inspirational moments.

Deborah’s final words, published by her family on her Instagram, were: ‘Find a life worth enjoying; take risks; love deeply; have no regrets; and always, always have rebellious hope. And finally, check your poo – it could just save your life.’